On August 31 2021 I became a widow. It is not like I didn’t know it was coming . My Jim had been ill for over 3 years this time. Any one who spent time with him spoke about what a positive man he was. Although he was on dialysis 3 days week and undergoing chemotherapy, he was certain he was going to pull through. Or at least he told us he was.

We were two months short of celebrating our 54th anniversary. Yes, we were babies when we married. We grew up together. He was my best friend and we talked about everything.Daily, I think of something that I need to ask him or something that I want to share with him.

Unfortunately, many of you know how empty your heart and life is when you loose a spouse. We used to be Vicki and Jim or Jim and Vicki. Now it’s just Vicki.

I don’t know how you would come home to any empty house. It would be devastating. My care giving  responsibilities did not go away. Gratefully I was not alone. I still have two of the people that I care the most about to love me and be with me. Because we all shared this home Dot, Bryan and I could mourn together and support each other.

We along with Franci our home aid, were all be all able to be with Jim when he was not in treatment.. One of us was always with him. He dozed as he watched Soccer with Bryan.  Most nights he would drop in on Dot to say goodnight as he went to bed. He and I had good talks during our nap times We had planned on this being our “Forever Home” and it was for Jim and will be for the rest of us.

The elevators in the house and garage allowed him to stay here when he was so weak that he couldn’t walk up steps. I was able to help him shower and he did need the lift chairs toward the end. He loved being on the upper deck and could easily use his walker to access his favorite spot.

I am so glad that he and I planned ahead and renovated this house. I really didn’t expect him to go first. I am so grateful that we “finished” our home and were able to enjoy it together.

I started writing this blog to share our experiences  of 3 generations living together under 1 roof. I’ve been away for a while and I hope start working (interior deign) and writing more as the months go by. If you get anything positive from reading under1roof.live, please share this with a friend.

\               Vicki